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[19 Feb 2004|03:29pm] |
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What good is one glove, without the other?
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[14 Feb 2004|09:42pm] |
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mood |
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 super happy |
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Just got back from Reckless. Got some awesome records, The Who, Style Council, Big Star, The D4, Paul Weller...
We started out at Starbucks (ugh) for coffee. As we were walking in front of the Double Door I saw Jack Black and Kyle Gass! I was like eeep! and pulled Melodie back and told her who it was. I exchanged a few words with Jack Black(he was seeing Urge over kill :( ). He was totally weird and akward just like he is in his interviews and rolls he's played. It was great!
This year(and last starting with halloween) every holiday has been tops. It's amazing.
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| I don't know about anyone else... |
[10 Feb 2004|01:04pm] |
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mood |
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a bit sleepy from school/work |
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music |
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Ari chirping |
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but I've noticed that when I read everyone's entries, you are all really tired for a week, then you are really sad about how your life is going, then you are upset cause a friend was being a dick (or you were), or you could be happy... etc. But its usually one emotion per week. Seriously. Kinda bizarre and definetly... draining, reading about how everyones so sleepy.
Oddly enough I haven't been able to get enough sleep though I slept half the weekend away. We should all have a slumber party. But then I guess no one would get sleep.
Just a thought.
P.S. Has anyone tried the new Diet Coke w/Lime? I don't mean taking a lime and putting it in the coke, I mean that's how it's MADE. So fucking try it and get back to me. I'm serious.
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| All I've got to say is.... |
[05 Feb 2004|01:28pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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Diet Coke with Lime!!!!!!! (NOT LEMON, LIME!)
Best fucking shit ever. TRY IT!!! Seriously do it, do it!!! And then tell me what you think.....
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| Rude sarcastic |
[02 Feb 2004|05:16pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
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rockfragrances: hi.
PleadTheCause: hi
rockfragrances: how are you ? are you a cookie man or a cookie doll?
PleadTheCause: uh
PleadTheCause: who is this?
PleadTheCause: i'm not a cookie
rockfragrances: I'm Cynth (cindy)..horny chick from myspace..who's this?
PleadTheCause: You scare me
rockfragrances: cool.
rockfragrances: so what's going on?
rockfragrances: do you want to judge me already and not talk to me? because if you do i can just say goodbye. is that what you want because i'm cool with that?
PleadTheCause: Actually you came off pretty deep, calling yourself the "horny chick from myspace"
rockfragrances: hey i have lots of friends that call themselves horny and nymphos
rockfragrances: everybody likes to be horny. it's part of nature. do you think it's not?
rockfragrances: i don't dig your rude sarcasm if you mean it that way and not as cool humor.
PleadTheCause: Its a natural thing, but it's not life and you don't have to wear it on your shoulder. I mean it's normal for a dog but not a human.
rockfragrances: ok. was that comment before that meant as rude sarcasm?
PleadTheCause: No hon it wasn't "rude sarcasm"
rockfragrances: Ok because if it was were through
rockfragrances: I'm just a crazy lady...
rockfragrances: i'm harmless really...it's all just good fun.
rockfragrances: but if you don't want to talk to me just say it.
PleadTheCause: Ok, I don't want to talk to you. I don't think you are interesting at all. And you seem really stupid.
rockfragrances: you've just proven yourself to be an asshole.
rockfragrances: and a judgmental one at that.
rockfragrances: and i never said anything mean to you.
rockfragrances: think about that. it's mean people like you..............
PleadTheCause: You didn't say anything mean but you said a lot of stupid shit. Maybe you shoudl work on thinking before you speak, especially to total strangers
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| This is Monroe. Thank you for riding the CTA. |
[29 Jan 2004|01:17pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
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music |
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Men Without Hats - Pop Goes the World |
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Who uses the El to go to work or school? This is the train I took from work to school today. Who wants to go to Club Foot this weekend? Melodie? Raul? Jenn? Nikki? Anyone? I wanna go, I wanna go.
>I've been so happy and positive lately. I hope it isn't fleeting.
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| Well. New Pictures. |
[28 Jan 2004|04:10pm] |
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amused |
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The Cars - Shake it Up |
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Oh look, it's me.
( and )
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| Train |
[27 Jan 2004|03:18pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
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Placebo - Scared of girls |
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Karen just called me into the kitchen. She said there was a "train in the sink". I knew there wasn't a train in the sink. What did I do? I put my head down in the sink to listen. It did sound like some odd noise a train would make and I told her it was outside. I then hopped on the counter and looked down into the neighbors yard to see him shaking a pale of salt onto the ground.
There is no train in our sink. Just thought you'd like to know.
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[25 Jan 2004|02:02am] |
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happy |
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Prince - Batman song |
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Tonight was great. I found myself hoping that one day I don't turn into the man my fathers age, jumping around drunk, to a band he's never heard of. Yelling "wooooooo!" every 15 seconds, creeping out the girls around him, and humping his buddies.
On a very related note, The Hot Machine's and The Greenhornes kicked ass.
Love,
EMILY
P.S. Hizzy got me the most bestest poster ever. A We Ragazzi poster of their next show at the Empty Bottle. Hooray!!!!
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[20 Jan 2004|05:37pm] |
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mood |
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la la |
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Adult. - Nothing of a kind |
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Hey kiddies. Just got back from the doctor, i have bronchitis. It's contagious so if we hung out and you feel sore throatish plus sick make sure you mention to your doc that a friend has bronchitis.
Yeah I can be responsible. Psshh.
<3
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[26 Dec 2003|12:26am] |
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 tired |
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Mates of State |
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Christmas this year was weirder than last. Probably because a lot of people I wanted to spend it with were gone. My sister, brother, mom, grandma, friends, etc. I went and visited my dad and we went to my aunts. We spent the night at her house. I read Melodie's journal and I felt exactly the same. I went and saw relatives and had nothing to say because we're totally different people. I sat around smiling and laughing at all the right times. I don't even want to write about it. It was alright. The most fun I had was with my little cousins (and my dad of course), they are so cute and little and innocent.
Adrian gave me a ride to my dads yesterday. Well Christmas Eve.
Well anyway. I came home work around noon then I fell asleep on the couch cause I was so tired from the long talks Adrian and I had been having all week. Staying up till like 4am and shit. Blah. So I fall asleep, my dad calls around 4pm and asks when I'm going out there, I'm like oh I'll catch the 5:15pm train. Alright. Hang up, then I get a text from Adrian asking if I'm still in Chicago. I'm like yeah so he says he's on the train going home from work and he can give me a ride to the suburbs (his dad lives there as well), etc. So I'm like cool.
So Adrian picks me up around 6. I get in and I'm like Hi. He's wearing a nice suit and just got his haircut. I tell him he looks really nice. I'd never seen him in a suit and it just makes me "aww" inside my head. We don't talk much at first. I'm close to tears thinking about how emotionally draining the week has been. I want to give him a hug. I plan on giving him a hug when I get out at my house. He starts conversation, I hesitate a lot and decide to just shake my head yes or no most of the time. He asks if I want a pop that he's had in his car 3 months. I say "gee thanks, but no thank you" and turn my head to look out the window. He makes me laugh by pressing the can against my cheek. It was cold. I laughed. I was sad. It was terrible. I hope it wasn't that obvious but I'm more than sure it was. I should have just taken the train. This is what I was thinking. We talk a little more. We get to my house. I act eager to get out of the car.
When I open the back door to get my shit out I slow down, he's looking back at me the whole time. I don't make eye contact. Just gather up my shit and he says merry christmas emily. I look up at him and his eyes looked so sad. I felt like he was looking for something in me. Looking for anything. It was almost enough to make me cry. I didnt give him a hug. I just replied yeah thanks, you too, thanks for the ride. I wanted to just stare at him forever. And maybe cry.
I dragged my bags up to the door and dropped them. Got out a cigarette and lit it while he turned his car around and drove off. I sat on the porch trying to regain my composure before I went in. I decided this would be a good time to thank god for whatever. I think I thanked him for being in my life. I think I said I'd probably kill myself without him. I also asked him to forgive me for putting him on the shelf a lot.
If you think that's funny wait till you read this.
On the train tonight coming home, I saw a very handsome boy. He was sitting across from me and one row up. He was reading a book. I got my book out and tried not to focus on him. I got out "the imitation of christ". I was reading a prayer about being faithful to god. And at least twice my mind just wandered over to the guy. And before I know it I'm just trying to see what he's reading and then I look at my book and think "Jesus I can't even focus on you, how pitiful is this... forgive me?" And then with that I think... how can I look at other guys when I really care about this other person(Adrian). I hate that. I don't want that. It just pisses me off. And all I'm thinking now is 2 more weeks. Two more weeks and I'll be way too fucking busy with work AND school. And I won't have time to worry or wonder or want this crap.
The end...
EMILY
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| Paleturquoise! |
[04 Dec 2003|11:26pm] |
you are paleturquoise
#AFEEEE |
Your dominant hues are green and blue. You're smart and you know it, and want to use your power to help people and relate to others. Even though you tend to battle with yourself, you solve other people's conflicts well.
Your saturation level is low - You stay out of stressful situations and advise others to do the same. You may not be the go-to person when something really needs done, but you know never to blow things out of proportion.
Your outlook on life is bright. You see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates you to see them get down on everything.
| | the spacefem.com html color quiz |
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[24 Nov 2003|11:37pm] |
ENFJ.
ENFJs are outstanding leaders of groups, both task groups and growth groups. They have the charming characteristic of seeming to take for granted that they will be followed, never doubting that people will want to do what they suggest. And, more often than not, people do, because this type has unusual charisma. ENFJs place a high value on cooperation from others and are most willing to cooperate themselves.
Found in only about 5 percent of the general population, ENFJs place people as being of highest importance and priority. As a result, ENFJs may find themselves feeling responsible for the feelings of others to an extent which places a burden on the relationship. An ENFJ communicates caring, concern, and a willingness to become involved. Thus people turn to ENFJs for nurture and support, which an ENFJ is usually able to deliver. At times, however, these kinds of demands can overwhelm ENFJs, who find at this point that they lack the skills to dissociate. ENFJs do not seem able to turn away from these demands even when they become unreasonable. Or, if forced to let go of the burden through sheer unavailability of time or energy, ENFJs experience a guilt all out of proportion to the realities of the commitment made to the relationship.
ENFJs are especially vulnerable to idealizing interpersonal relationships. raising these relationships to a plane which seldom can sustain the realities of human nature. Because of this tendency to raise interpersonal relations to the ideal, ENFJs may unwittingly overpower their friends, who believe that they cannot possibly live up to an ENFJ’s perception of them. The fact is, ENFJs are extraordinarily tolerant of others, seldom critical, and always trustworthy.
ENFJs take communication for granted and believe that they are understood and that their communications are accepted. Just as they themselves are accepting, so do they assume that others are the same. When ENFJs find that their position or beliefs were not comprehended or accepted, they are surprised, puzzled, and sometimes hurt. Fortunately, this does not happen with high frequency, as ENFJs have a remarkable fluency with language, especially in speech; they are particularly adept when communicating face-to-face as opposed to communicating in writing. They are influential, therefore, in groups, having no hesitation about speaking out, no matter how large or small the group may be.
ENFJs have an unusual ability to relate to others with empathy, taking into themselves the characteristics, emotions, and beliefs of others. This can pose a danger for ENFJs, because they can unconsciously over-identify with others and pick up their burdens as if they were their own. In the process, ENFJs may risk their own sense of identity. They have a natural ability to mimic because of this highly developed ability to empathize by introjection. They are likely to be very concerned about the problems of those close to them, but they also may get as deeply involved in the problems of those not so close and may find themselves over-extended emotionally.
ENFJs would do well to follow their hunches, for their intuition tends to be well developed. Decisions made purely on the basis of logic may not be so sound, and checking with a person who has a strong T preference might be at times advisable for the ENFJ. In the framework of values, however, the ENFJ is on certain ground. Generally, they know what they prefer and can read other people with outstanding accuracy. Seldom is an ENFJ wrong about the motivations or intent of another, hidden or not.
ENFJs are socially adept and make excellent companions and mates. They also are deeply devoted to their children, yet tend not to be domineering to either the children or a mate. In fact, the ENFJ is so even-tempered that he or she can be victimized by a mate who might have become more and more demanding. ENFJ mates always try to please and feel personally responsible when home life does not go smoothly. They are tireless in their efforts to see that it does, providing generously from available income, time, and energy. This dedication often exists, however, side by side with an ENFJ’s dream of the perfect relationship—a characteristic of all NFs, but one which is particularly strong in an ENFJ. Thus an ENFJ has that longing for the ideal that results in a vague dissatisfaction with whatever is in the way of relationships, mating as well as friendship.
This longing for the perfect carries over into the careers of ENFJs, who experience some degree of restlessness whatever their jobs. And, as with ENFPs, ENFJs have a wide range of occupations which offer success. Being verbally adept, ENFJs contribute to an unusual level when dealing with people, particularly face-to-face; the media, the ministry, and the stage and screen are populated with successful ENFJs. They make superior therapists, charismatic teachers, excellent execuÂtives, and personalized salespersons. Areas that would not permit utilization of the interactional talents of ENFJs, for example, accounting, should be avoided; otherwise, almost any people-to-people occupation where personal, sustained contact is involved capitalizes on the personality of an ENFJ.
ENFJs like to have things settled and organized. They prefer to plan both work and social engagements ahead and tend to be absolutely reliable in honoring these commitments. ENFJs are very much at home in complex situations which require the juggling of much data. At the same time, they can handle people with charm and concern. ENFJs are usually popular wherever they are. Their ability to be comfortable either leading or following makes them easy to have around, whatever the situation. A well-developed ENFJ group leader can provide, almost endlessly, activities for groups to engage in with almost no preplanning and can find adequate roles for members of the group to play. In some, this can amount to genius which other types find hard to emulate. In this ability to organize without planning there is a certain similarity to an ESFJ, but the latter acts more as a master of ceremonies than as a leader of groups. The ESFJ is more of a recreational leader, who insures that each member has fun at a party and that the right things are expressed at social occasions, especially institutional social occasions such as weddings, funerals, parties, and the like. ENFJs, just like the ESFJs, value harmonious human relations above all else; but ENFJs are not so easily crushed by indifference as are ESFJs and are more independent of others’ valuations.
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| I still can't breathe. |
[08 Oct 2003|02:46am] |
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mood |
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 accomplished, but not. |
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The Faint in my head. |
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CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL
I've lost control. I hate you.
On a side note... I made two collages last night. One of them was for Noe (brother) and it made me happy when I showed it to Karen and she said she thought I got it somewhere. I hope that means she was impressed. I think it did. It was just of the same pictures, one in black/white one in red/white, they were of the payphone that I posted a few entries ago and I put them on a sticky matte bored and then put some tape that was red and black diagonally striped on it the spaces that weren't filled, and at the bottom I put in white and black stickers, Can I speak 2 Noe. So yeah. It's his present.
The other thing I made was a self portrait. It's a picture of my mom smoking (the imfamous "mama" most of you know). I'll just post it. And anyway I painted some cardboard black, slapped it on the lower right hand corner and wrote all across it "I can't breathe" in pink. I put a cut out of some pink lips over the cigarette, which you can see through the part in the mouth and then painted my moms lips pink. It came out pretty good. I think a nice chunky old frame would help bring it out more.
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| Everything is wrong. |
[17 Jul 2003|05:50pm] |
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mood |
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 stressed |
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Yesterday was way better than today. And in the afternoon when I started doing laundry and cleaning my room, I started to think that everything would be fine with the apt shit and me leaving home again and all. I was watching Queer as Folk (I rented the first season) and I heard my dad pacing outside my door for about 10 mins. I knew he wanted to talk and I just waited till finally he knocked and let himself in. As soon as I saw his teary eyed face I knew. I wish I would take more time to sit down and let him talk because he needs that. I feel really selfish right now. He basically has no one to talk to about these things and I'm always off doing my own thing. It's pretty bad when you dont even know that your moms close to another break down until the night it happens. I should have been watching.
Mom flipped out. Dr says he wants her in the hospital. Dad's all stressed. I called off work today to stay with her and make sure she doesnt hurt herself. She was good all morning then I took a nap around noon and woke up to her wailing on the phone to her shrink. I talked to him and he said for sure she needs to go in the hospital. So here we go again. Never ending. My poor mom. My poor dad. I wish it would just stop. I dont understand how things like this work. Sometimes it just feels like a game and all but I know it isn't her fault. Dad is really tired of it. He was telling me things I didnt expect. You know, the D word. I wouldn't blame him though. He's lived with this longer than I have. Almost 25 years. Of course I'm sure these are just thoughts running through his head while everything is stirred up. He is too good a man to just not take care of her. I wish I could do something but I can't. I want out. I dont want to be stuck taking care of her the rest of my life too. Or the rest of hers. That might sound wrong but I dont know. You don't know.
Noe I'm sorry if you read this before I have a chance to call you and tell you what's going on. Don't tell Ama or anyone just yet. They'll just worry and there's nothing they can do so it doesn't even matter.
I'm so stressed out. God I hope this moving out shit works. All I want is to enjoy this weekend and find out for sure the apt is ours. My thoughts seem so selfish right now.
I thought about Dusty and how I wish I could call him and tell him everything that is going on. And then I remembered- he doesn't care. And thats why he's gone.
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| Work, Darlene, and Dusty. |
[16 Jul 2003|07:21pm] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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Fischerspooner |
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Where should I start? How about with work related things. Yah let's get that out of the way.
Okay so my co-worker was busted stealing from the register. They got her on camera, it fuckin sucks ass. I didnt believe it when my boss told me, I still don't. I dont know. It's just sad. She's the nicest sweetest girl I know right now and totally out of character for her. So now she's suspended and I had to pick up her shift yesterday (which means i worked a double shift) and tomorrow (my day off). I know its selfish to hope that I dont have to work saturday (for her) but I'm really hoping I dont, cause I fuckin have plans and haven't had a day off in 7 days already. My boss is still unsure if she's going to have to fire her. She doesnt want to, this was very unexpected and I'm sure if she didnt have to fire her nothing like this would ever happen again. It was just a stupid spur of the moment decision I'm sure. UGH.
My grandma called the other day and said she saw Dusty (the ex) in the austin area on the expressway. She was going up north to visit my uncle and she swears it was him in the Colt with a young girl holding an infant. My aunt also saw. This is super weird. I am wondering if he had a kid, which is very likely considering we've been broken up over a year. I guess he did have time to have one but I dont know. I fuckin want to call and ask. EEEP! It's just weird. Other weird thing is he was driving his old car which his dad gave to his girlfriend over 2 years ago so that doesnt make sense either. What happened to his beloved truck? HMMM... I'm soooo curious. I'm not going to call so don't fuckin worry. I'm over him.
On a lighter note. We gave half the deposit for our the place. And we are going to meet with him saturday and sign shit and paperwork and other half of the deposit. So hopefully after that its our new home. UGH PRAY PRAY PRAY FOR US. I'm so nervous. I hope everything works out. I guess that's all for now.
The weekend isnt soon enough,
EM
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whatarudegirl's journal
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